Ass Breath and Nasty Teeth?

I've heard from good sources on the dumpster circuit that Michael Oliver's breath smells like complete asshole! Also, I've been told that he only has a few teeth and they're black! Can anyone confirm this? I was told a story that Mike was hooking up with some dude and Mike breathed on the dude and he passed out from the heinous stench! Doesn't this guy have any normal personal hygiene habits?

Does Michael Oliver Ponce Have Pubic Lice?

Hey Ponce, do you have pubic lice, a.k.a., "the crabs"? It wouldn't surprise me if you do. You seem to be very dirty and apparently have rampant stank b.o., as confirmed by people at The Samples concerts. Bathing only once every few weeks has to make your groin the perfect home for pubic lice. Are the pubic lice attracted to your wet farts and the fact that your underwear has 2-week old shit crust stuck to it?

Did you get the pubic lice from John Ritter or Big Ben Healy? Did those guys die from complications due to the pubic lice? Please get back to me soon. Maybe you should walk naked through a public car wash to cleanse your body of pubic lice and other infestations!

Michael Oliver, Scientologist?

Hey Michael, were you ever approached by Scientologists after Problem Child, or were you such a loser that they didn't even bother? Did Lord Xenu ever make you his concubine, and spit-roast you with John Travolta? Get back to me on this, you little fuck!

Michael Oliver Perfume?

Hey Oliver, it's obvious that your roadie career has derailed and is quickly going nowhere. You need to kick things up a notch and use your immense fame and popularity to fatten your wallet. You are well-known throughout the world for several things, such as your greasy long red mullet and your nasty b.o. that reeks of your balls and ass.

I think you need to bottle your stank b.o. to the deviant gay community! You could call it Junior's Taint or something like that!!! I think it would sell well within the gay community that cruises to gas station bathrooms, rest stops, and to the dumpsters in the alleys behind the local Taco Bell for gay unprotected buttsex.

You're sitting on a goldmine right now and you don't even realize it!

Shot Down by Jason Batemen?

I've heard rumors that when Michael was younger he had a massive crush on Jason Batemen, co-star of his half brothers show, "The Hogan Family". I heard that Michael finally worked up the nerve to try to put the moves on Jason one day while Jason was hanging out with his former "Silver Spoons" buddy Ricky Schroeder. Michael asked if Jason wanted to go on a date and Jason immediately punched him in the cock and he and Ricky stomped on Michael until he was unconscious. They finished the beatdown by dropping trough and taking a dump on Michaels mullet! I've heard Michael has pined for Jason ever since!

"Three's Company" Spit-roast?

Oliver, I just discovered that the father of Colby Kline is Richard Kline, the guy who played playboy Larry Dallas on Three's Company with John Ritter during the late 1970s/early 1980s. Did Richard Kline and John Ritter ever double-team you while singing the Three's Company theme song? Did Don Knotts ever show up and pleasure himself while watching? Please let me know soon!

Recent Pictures of the Girl Whose Birthday Party Oliver Ruined!

Oliver, I found these recent pictures of Colby Kline, the girl whose birthday party you ruined! As one can see, she has become pretty hot since 1990 when Problem Child came out. I don't know what the deal is with those freckles or moles on her cheeks, but she's far better looking than you, a ginger fire-crotch! This girl wouldn't give you the time of day if she walked past you in the street. You probably don't care anyway because Big Ben Healy will always be your true love from the Problem Child cast, won't he?

Video of a Young Michael Oliver Ponce Ruining a Little Girl's Party

Hey Ponce, why did you have to be such a little jerk and ruin a little girl's party? Is it because you hated her due to the fact that she was a girl and didn't have a tiny cock, like you? That little girl is probably in her early 20s by now and might be hot, but I guess you don't want any of that anyway! You'd prefer to rest in the comforting arms of an older gentleman dressed up as Big Ben Healy or John Ritter, wouldn't you?

A Little Big Ben Healy, Anyone?

Ladies and gentlemen, the time has come to put a little Big Ben Healy into your sad wasted lives. Enjoy this scene from the documentary on my life, titled "The Problem Child", due to Mikey O. fucking me out of my mayoral race and ripping off fifty buck to buy Ninja Gaiden for Nintendo. You will PAY, MICHAEL!!!
In the meantime, enjoy this humorous clip.



Yours,

Benjamin Sophocles Healy, First Duke Healy

The Problem Child Theme Song!

I found a sweet cut of AC/DC's theme to my mayoral documentary, where Michael Oliver fucked me out of the presidency! Anyway, most of the video is black, but the song is sweet as a poodle's shit! Rock and roll!

Big Ben Healy Fucks Bitches Up!

Here's a little photo documentation where I, Big Ben Healy, throw down on a couple of pussies! I even overdubbed the video, en Espanyol, so you can fully absorb my machismo fury! Enjoy, and know that someday, I'm going to to the same thing to Junior, but I'm going to do it with my dick!

Did Oliver Ever Receive a Reach-Around?

When making love to Big Ben Healy, does anyone know if Big Ben Healy ever gave Oliver a reach-around? If he's nice, I think he would have done so. However, Big Ben Healy seemed like a selfish dirty old man, so I have to believe that Oliver was not extended the common courtesy of a reach-around. :(

What about John Ritter? I think he would have been a more passionate and caring gay lover for Oliver. It wouldn't surprise me to discover that Oliver and Ritter had passionate unprotected buttsex on the very day that Oliver turned 18 years old and was finally of the legal age of consent. I'll bet those two lovebirds must have waited anxiously for so long to consumate a gay relationship!

Mike's rampant B.O.

As soon as I heard about Mike having hygiene issues, I put out the feelers amongst my queer buddies who had lived in California to see what they could tell me. They informed me that Mike was somewhat notorious in certain circles, and rumor had it that the stench and the sweat from his taint, balls and ass is so potent that it actually eats through his underwear. He gets through several pairs a week. Maybe that's where all the money he earned doing Problem Child went...

I don't mind though...the first time I conjured up a mental image of being mounted by Mr. Ponce and having him plough my ass with his ginger love sausage, all the while being enveloped in the fumes of his pheromone-rich musk, I blew a massive load clear across the room. Mike, keep on stinkin', buddy!!

Box Wine, Mullet, B.O., and an Asshole?

I found this claim on a page that Michael frequents and moderates constantly. Actually, many of the replies to this were deleted so I must assume Michael saw this and it is true.

"He was shopping at a Ralph's in Burbank with some lady. Anyway, I saw him near the alcohol section and he was looking at wine in a box. I went up to him and asked if he was the guy from problem child. He said yeah, and then went back to looking at the wine in a box. I asked him what his real name was and he replied, " Roadie Pc" and laughed( I was confused about this until I went to these boards) I then said my goodbyes and attempted to shake his hand and he refused and said, " I only shake hands of people I know" I left amazed that this guy was such a prick. Anyway that was my run in with the Problem Child."

What the hell is wrong with this guy? Isn't it bad enough that he reeks of B.O. and is forced to buy cheap box wine? Now the guy chases off the 1 fan he had?

Homer Simpson Doesn't Like Michael Oliver?

Someone I know claims to have made a screen capture of a recent episode of The Simpsons. Apparently Homer Simpson doesn't think too highly of Michael Oliver!!!

Samples Ticket Stub!

I remember going to a Samples concert a few years ago so I went through my stash of old ticket stubs. Here is what I found!!! I never noticed that Michael was advertised on the stub itself! I do remember the firecrotched Roadie who's B.O. stole the show. Once catching a whiff of Mike's aroma I remember hooking up with 20 or thirty random dudes! It was a full on manfiesta once everyone got a breath of Mike's essence! I remember seeing a dude in a sleeveless flannel shirt with a red mullet taking on 5 dudes at one time! What a great night!!!

Michael's Current Lover

I've been hearing rumors in the queer universe that for now Michael is off the market. :( I hear that he recently ran into his former PC co-star Gilbert Gottfried and the two hit it off? I've heard that Gilbert loves Mike's heinous B.O. and Mike dresses up in a devil costume for Gilbert on a regular basis. I am so jealous as I was hoping to hook up with Mike and drench him with one of my shit sprays! Check out this pic of Gilbert, he looks pretty rough!

Love Note For Michael Oliver At Wrigley Field!

I heard that during the summer of 2002 Big Ben Healy paid quite a bit of money to advertise a lovely message for Michael Oliver on the Wrigley Field marquee. The Cubs apparently rented out the sign to make some extra cash that year because attendance was down.

Oliver, did Big Ben Healy's wish come true?

Mike on "Amen"

Back in 1990 when Mike was riding high he starred in an episode of the tv show Amen. This was right after Problem Child 1 came out and before the dud Problem Child 2 hit theaters. I wonder if Mike got along well with the star of Amen, Sherman Hemsley? I imagine it's likely that Sherman introduced Junior to the giant, spitting, black mamba trouser snake! I've heard rumors of an easter egg on the Amen DVD that shows Sherman and that really old angry guy farting on Junior while he wears that stupid red bow tie! Has anyone seen this?

Was Mike Raped by a Platypus?

I've noticed that Michael's last known role before going off to live the high life as a roadie was in the show "Platypus Man". I have an inside source from that wonderful show who said Mike may have been raped by a Platypus and soon after Michael swore off acting and decided to focus on more land based activities. It seems that Michael only wanted to date the platypus but the platypus had other ideas! Can anyone confirm this highly arousing story is true?

Early Gay Lover!

I've been searching long and hard (if you no what I mean) for a pic of Mikey's first lover. This fruitcake was a character on the show "The Hogan Family" and by looking at him you can see that he and Mike must have been an adorable couple! I have some inside information that after this guy broke up with Mike he swore off bathing forever as he wanted the scent of his first lover to always be with him. That clears up all the B.O. issues we have been seeing!

Tag Team?

I found this really queer looking pic of Danny Ponce and some other fruitcake. I believe it's a picture from the "Hogan Family". Since they were only half brothers I assume that Danny Ponce and that other devious looking creature were probably early gay lovers of Michael. I imagine they gave him a fine spitroasting daily! Can anyone confirm this?

Michael Oliver's Mother?

We all know that Mikey's half-brother is Danny Ponce. Danny was known best for being on the show "The Hogan Family" which started out as "Valerie". I cannot seem to find information on Michael's mother. From watching the show I know that Mikey's mom must be either Valerie Harper (left) or Sandy Duncan (right). Both look incredibly haggard to have created such a stud! Does anyone know which one it is? Also is it true that Michael was created when Big Ben Healy sodomized one of these two?

Did Big Ben Healy Whip Michael Oliver in the Nuts?

Michael, is it true that you kept screwing up your lines during the filing of Problem Child 2, delaying the production of that movie? Is it also true that your screwups made Big Ben Healy get really mad because the delays you were causing meant that he had less free time to spend at the local strip clubs? Is it further true that after you screwed up your lines for the 10th time in a row, Big Ben Healy stormed out to the parking lot, tore a car antenna off a Ford station wagon and then ran over to you and started whipping you in the nuts with it, over and over until you passed out from pain?

Please get back to me with a confirmation and some details as soon as possible!

Road Ass for Michael Oliver?

Michael, you must get hit on by tons of women and men due to your esteemed position as roadie for The Samples. I know that your smelly groiny and b.o. turn on many homosexual men. Does it also turn on the women? Do attractive women like those odors, or do the obese hogs prefer it? Have you contracted any STDs from the road ass you have met during your tours? Have you ever engaged in any orgies while Problem Child plays in the background? Do you ever make any of the gay men you meet dress up as John Ritter or Big Ben Healy and make them called you "Junior" while they make love to you? I expect an answer to this important questions soon!

Why Did Oliver Become A Roadie?

Michael Oliver, what prompted you to become a roadie? Yes, I know that it is an extremely prestigious position that is incredibly intellectually demanding. Hell, I have heard stories about young grads from Harvard Law School that have been unsuccessful in breaking into the roadie profession! However, there must be something more beyond the intellectual stimulation and the impressive $12,000 salary you must make every year that prompted your career change.

Please confirm that you were at a concert for a shitty band in Los Angeles a few years ago with your gay lover, Big Ben Healy. Is it true that a roadie walked past where you were standing and you were amazed that you could smell the roadie's balls and ass? Is it further true that the roadie had shit his pants 30 minutes beforehand? Is it true that the stank odor turned you on? Is it also true that you immediately pulled down Big Ben Healy's pants and sucked him off and then toss his salad in front of everyone in the club? Is it also true that you paid the roadie $5 for his skidmark-encrusted underwear and framed it as some kind of trophy in your Section VIII apartment? Is it true that from that day on you realized that your true calling was to be a roadie?

Please get back to me soon on this one, buddy!

Michael's Hollywood romances

Can anyone out there in cyberspace expand upon the gay romances that Michael is rumored to have had? From what I've heard, Mike has done all the greats: Dustin Diamond, Chris Burke, Carrot Top, the list is pretty much endless. It sounds like he gets around. Frankly the thought of Mike getting it on with Screech makes me hard. So much so that I made this picture:


Has anyone out there "known" Mike, in the biblical sense? I've heard that he's in to all kinds of kinky shit, including Hot Karls, Manhattan Transfers, Cincinnati Juiceboxes, and Fecal Jizz Pinatas. Can anyone confirm?

Michael Oliver Is a Fascist!

Hey Oliver, there's no doubt that you are one sexy beefcake. Those pictures of you from your roles sans makeup in Life Goes On, Mask, and The Goonies that were posted previously really make my balls fill up with some fresh semen! However, you are a fascist when it comes to monitoring the Internet! You patrol the IMDB message boards with your RoadiePC account and delete all posts with which you disagree. Now you are deleting links to this fan blog and other articles about you that have been posted on your Wikipedia page.

I demand that you cease with this fascist aggression! I promise that if you stop acting like Hitler I will sit on your face and totally drop ass. I will also dunk my nuts into your mouth and clean your head with a nice diarrhea spray! You must be so turned on right now reading this post - I'll bet you are mere seconds away from blowing your load. Let's have sex!!!

Michael Oliver Shitting His Pants During A Problem Child Scene???

I discovered this unusual picture of Michael Oliver from Problem Child. It looks as though Mikey just shit his pants and John Ritter has a concerned look on his face because he doesn't want to clean it up! I'll bet that Big Ben Healy gave Mikey an ass-whipping for being such a nasty and dirty brat!

Michael Oliver in Unknown Movie.

I found this photo of Michael from an unknown movie he made. It may have been the movie "Troll" but I am not 100 percent positive on that. However I am quite sure the person on the left is Michael Oliver sans any type of makeup in some sort of horror movie. I'm sure the horror industry loves to get their hands on Mikey as his not needing the normal hours of makeup to look like a monster must save tons of time. That along with his being a total pro and class act must make up for his foul B.O.!

UPDATE: I have received confirmation that this is a pic of Michael Oliver from the movie Troll 2!

Did Mike already have heinous B.O. during PC2?

I found this nice cover shot from PC 2. Notice the face the little girl is making? It certainly looks like the face someone would make if something stank like ass! I imagine that "Junior" is the one with the stinky ass!Look how damn proud he seems of his rank ass! Damn, you think after 20 years the dude would have learned how to take a shower!

Arabian Goggles?

I would love to lay a heavy pair of Arabian Goggles onto Mike's face! I would love to breathe in his stank ass aroma as he munched on my taint! Mike I know your out there, and I know this must be turning you on! Please contact me immediately so both our dreams can come true!

Michael's White-Trash Look

Michael Oliver sure is a trendsetter! He's doing everything in his power to make the "white trash" look chic! I really like his long mullet and that queer little tattoo on his right arm. It's awesome that Michael spits at conventional views on fashion - he's his own man. I think it's really cool that he refuses to bathe everyday so that everyone in attendance at a concert for The Samples can smell his balls and ass! That must be a rare treat.

Michael, I think you need to further cultivate your fashion-setting look by wearing a white tanktop undershirt with stains on it and letting someone punch you in the face until some of your teeth fall out. If you do that, you'll be an even bigger icon of the lowest rung of society!!!

Lunar Eclipse + Michael Oliver?

I was just watching CNN and they were talking about a lunar eclipse that is scheduled to occur tonight. They had an astronomer on and when asked to explain the cause of a lunar eclipse he said, "the cause of tonights lunar eclipse is Michael Oliver. Best known before tonight as Junior from the Problem Child movies." What the hell is this guy talking about? I knew Mike was great, and that he has B.O. and is a roadie for a crappy band, but how the hell does he cause an eclipse? Mike, I demand an explanation!

Michael Oliver Was Awesome on Life Goes On!

My favorite Michael Oliver role was his role as "Corky," a young man suffering from Down's Syndrome, on the early 1990s hit drama, Life Goes On. Michael provided an intense portrayal of the star of the show!

After Life Goes On went off the air in 1993, Michael took some time off for a few years until he found his true calling - to be a roadie for a crappy band. Here is a picture of Michael with two apparently gay musicians. Are these two fruits bandmembers in The Samples, the band for which Michael is a roadie?

Outstanding Job In Leprechaun

I never really focused much on Mike's work after Problem Child. Since the start of this terrific blog I've been doing a bit a research trying to find all the hidden gems this multi-talented beefcake has been in. Just this evening I came across this hot pic of Mike sans makeup in the role of the Leprechaun! Most everyone has watched the Leprechaun series, and I always wondered why I found the Leprechaun to be highly arousing! Now I know the answer....... Michael Oliver!!! Well done Michael!!! Thankfully for this role Mike didn't have to cut his gorgeous mullet!

Dirty Sanchez?

Does anyone know if Big Ben Healy gave Michael a "dirty sanchez" before this picture was taken? I know the set of Problem Child was incredibly rowdy but this pic even surprised me! It looks like Big Ben was a real maestro with shit!

Michael Oliver Looking Sexy As Hell in a Car!!!!

Check out this super-hot picture of Michael Oliver riding in the back seat of his rusty 1982 Ford Pinto:

New Super Queer Pics of Mike!

I'm not sure which pic shows Mike's queer side better? If pressed I guess I would have to go with the one on the right! I wonder how much male "road ass" Mike gets while out touring with various bands? I certainly hope he soon makes a stop in my town!!!!

I Want To Fire My Seed Down Mikey's Throat!!!

Mikey, it's me, Big Ben Healy! Remember how I was your grandfather in Problem Child? My son, John Ritter, adopted you but tried to tone down your destructive side. I, on the other hand, encouraged you to develop your antisocial behaviors! I used to invite you over to my car dealership so that we could get some intimate "alone time." Now that you are above the age of consent, we should hook up for some hot homosexual sex!!!!! My elderly balls are full of semen wth your name on it! You need to sign on for Problem Child 4 - a witchdoctor will revive my corpse during a seance and then I'll be good to go!

Pic taken of Mike by Gay Lover!

I found this pic of Mike taken by one of his many queer lovers!


"But I found On my Computer A Picture I took of Him When He Was Over One Night and I was Messing With my Camera's Lighting And Settings"

I wonder what else he was messing with as Mike looks completely queer and has his flashlight out for anal exams!

Michael Oliver Preparing For a Swordfight

I almost creamed in my pants when I saw this incredibly hot picture of Michael Oliver playing with a sword! I have to assume that Mike is preparing for a swordfight with someone - I'm sure it's another hot stud! I wonder if Big Ben Healy introduced Mike to swordfights on the rowdy Problem Child set...

Mike is hot

First I wanna say thanks to my buddy Neil for inviting me to contribute. Mike is underrated as a gay icon and hopefully this blog will help to rectify that. He deserves to take his place alongside the likes of Carrot Top and Yahoo Serious in the pantheon of gay ginger comedy greats.

Incidentally, I had a really hot dream about Mike the other night. I dreamed I was at a Samples show, and the band were playing when I noticed a certain mulleted ginger stud rocking out at the side of the stage. I went and found him after the show, introduced myself, we got talking, he said "you wanna go party?" and next thing I knew I was by the dumpster out back of the club with Mike's ginger-pubed 9-incher down my throat. That's when I woke up covered in my own splooey.

Michael in a Devil Suit

I absolutely loved the scene in Problem Child where the young Mikey Oliver dressed up as the devil. He looks so cool in the photo below. I wonder if Big Ben Healy ever broke into Oliver's trailer on the Problem Child set and jerked off on the devil suit. Does anyone know if that ever happened?

An Intimate Moment on the Rowdy Problem Child Set?

It has been rumored that the set of Problem Child was very rowdy and that there was much ass and crotch-grabbing, as well as some unprotected sex. I can't confirm any of these rumors, as I was never on the set myself. However, I have discovered this intimate photo of Michael Richards and Michael Oliver from the Problem Child set. Michael Richards and Oliver are giving each other loving glances and they almost look like they want to make out.

Granted, Michael Oliver was a minor in 1990 when Problem Child came out, so I have to assume that they didn't have intercourse at the time, despite the palpable homoerotic overtones. However, it wouldn't surprise me if Michael Oliver tracked down Michael Richards at the stroke of midnight on his 18th birthday to proposition Richards for gay sex. Does anyone know if that happened?

Mike's Role in The Goonies

I personally think that Mike's best role outside of the PC movies was his portrayal of Sloth in the Goonies. I heard that Mike needed almost no makeup but was quite mad when they made him get rid of his trademark mullet! I think Sloth would have been uber hot if the mullet had stayed!!! I've heard rumors of a Goonies 2. Does anyone know if Mike will be back as Sloth?

What the hell is going on in this pic?

This must be one of the gayest pics I've ever come across! Was Mike getting ready once again for "Big" Ben Healy?

Michael Oliver's Role In Mask

Michael Oliver acted in the 1985 hit movie, Mask, alongside Cher. Michael played Rocky Dennis, a young man afflicted with craniodiaphyseal dysplasia, a rare and disfiguring sclerotic bone disorder. Michael's acting was fluid and realistic and the producers loved him because he played Rocky Dennis without having to wear any makeup whatsoever! Michael's breakthrough performance led to later success in the Problem Child movies. Here is a picture of Michael from the set of Mask:

Michael Oliver's "Trademark" Mullet

Michael Oliver has done everything in his power to bring back the mullet in an effort to make mullets hip and cool. That firecrotch is iconic in the mullet-head community, as shown in the photo below that was previously posted by this blog's co-contributor, Rok Hard.

Does Mike have B.O.?

I found this quote on another page about Mike and was wondering if anyone in the queer community can confirm this? I hope it's true as there is no greater turn on then a stank ass Roadie riding your love pump! Whenever I look at that pic I can smell Roadie ass!

"Someone told me that they were at a Samples show and Micheal walked by him and he stunk of B.O. Does he have problems or is that just part of touring on the road with a band? He said he could smell his balls and ass from where he was standing."

Michael Oliver Sure Is Washed Up!

I discovered this nice profile of Michael Oliver from a blog called "Washed Up Celebrities": Michael Oliver profile. Although Michael is very sexy, he is washed up and has managed to piss off quite a few people who posted nasty comments about him!

What Happened to Mike's Acting Career?

I always wondered why a beefcake and super talented actor like Mike never acted after Problem Child 2? I think I may have found the answer! It seems that Mike and his mother attempted to extort money from Universal Studios in order for Mike to do PC2. If the movie had been a success Universal probably would have moved on and forgotten about the extra cash they had to pay Mike to actually fulfill his contract. Instead the movie was a dud and Universal came after that extra cash. The following articles document the demise of Mike Olivers acting career. I'm quite sure that once this case was done Mike was blackballed by the studios.
http://www.variety.com/article/VR106174
http://www.variety.com/review/VE1117904058
http://www.variety.com/article/VR106269
http://www.variety.com/article/VR107873
http://www.variety.com/article/VR106307

I hope that Mike finds some heavy black balls in his mouth soon!

Mike Looking Uber Hot!

This pic is fucking HOT!!!! When I saw this pic I just wanted to take Mike's head and ram it up my ass! I can't imagine the pure pleasure! Then I would beat off until I was ready to fire my seed all over Oliver's crappy red beard! I just punched myself in the cock while thinking about it!

Big Ben Healy

I've always found Mike O to be quite a beefcake. I've heard that the set of the PC movies was quite rowdy and that Big Ben Healy showed Mike a few of his moves! I believe this pic shows Mike right after one of his meetings with Big Ben!

Sexy Picture of an Adult Michael Oliver

Michael Oliver was a dorky and annoying little turd in the Problem Child movies. However, once he became of legal age, he sure did morph into a sexy stud! I would love to grab his long red-hair while sitting on his handsome face and teabagging him for hours!!!!

Hello

This is a blog for the gay fans of Michael Oliver, the former child star who played "Junior" in Problem Child and its sequel! Peruse the posts and leave comments as you wish!