Michael Oliver's Race In the Special Olympics

Michael Oliver Ponce competed in the Special Olympics back in 1992, when he was 11 years old. Ponce ran the 100 meter dash against other mentally-challenged children and finished in 3rd place with a time of 15.2 seconds. Here is a picture of Ponce that was taken during his race. He sure looks happy, doesn't he? I'll bet he ran right into the caring arms of Big Ben Healy at the end of the race!

Michael Oliver Ponce and Danny Cooksey - A Study in Duality

So I was watching Terminator 2: Judgment Day the other night for the first time in many years and I happened to notice that John Connor's Guns 'N' Roses loving friend was sporting a rather strinking ginger mullet:

So, being the huge fan of Michael that I am I decided to do some research on this imposter to the throne of ginger mullitude...it turns out that his name is Danny Cooksey and not only is his hairstyle the same, but his career path is eerily similar also, with Danny starting out a minor child star and going on to stay below the fame radar as it were, despite his efforts to pursue a career in rock and roll. At one point he was lead vocalist in a short lived Steve Vai band, "Bad4Good":

This is all too similar to be mere coincidence...could it be that Michael and Danny were separated at birth? Maybe they were once lovers who traded career notes? If not I really think they should hook up...wouldn't they make the cutest couple?

Here's Cooksey now...there's quite a resemblance don't ya think?

Is Michael Oliver Hung Like a Baby?

I heard a rumor that Michael Oliver Ponce is hung like a three-month-old baby. Supposedly his cock looks like a tiny Vienna Sausage. Can anyone confirm these rumors? Surely someone has run into Ponce at a gay bathhouse recently and can confirm the details. I wonder if Ponce has even sprouted pubes on his ginger ball sac...

Did Big Ben Healy Burn Michel Oliver's Crotch With Hot Bacon Grease?

I heard a rumor that Michael Oliver Ponce was being really annoying and whiny during a Problem Child reunion a few years ago and really pissed off both John Ritter and Big Ben Healy. Supposedly Ponce kept telling everyone that he was entirely responsible for the success of Problem Child 1 and 2. I also heard that he made fun of Big Ben Healy for his baldness and said, "Big Ben, you wish you had an awesome ginger mullet like me!"

Ponce apparently had his outburst during a brunch and Big Ben Healy quickly took action to silence Ponce. Supposedly Big Ben Healy ran into the kitchen and grabbed a frying pan in which bacon was cooking. Big Ben subsequently threw piping hot bacon grease onto Ponce's groin, causing second degree burns! When Ponce yelled out in pain, I heard that Big Ben smacked him in the head with the frying pain and then sat down and ate the bacon that was cooking in the frying pan!

Has anyone else heard this rumor? Can anyone confirm these details?

Dirty Work?

I have heard that during the filming of the movie "Dirty Work" Michael Oliver decided to stop by the set and see his old castmate Jack Warden. Unfortunately for Oliver, Jack had been drinking and doing smack with co-stars Artie Lange and Norm MacDonald. I've heard that upon seeing Oliver, Jack immediately smashed a Jack Daniels bottle over his mullet and ripped off his pants. Oliver was spitroasted by Artie Lange and Norm MacDonald while Warden dropped trough and took an enormous shit all over Oliver. After a few minutes of this Oliver began to like it and began licking the shit and gobbling up the cocks! Jack Warden did not like that Ponce was enjoying himself and pulled out a bullwhip and began whipping Oliver's testicles! When Ponce also liked that Warden had Artie Lange fart in his face while Norm hosed him down with a golden shower. Lange's fart knocked Oliver unconscious and when he woke up in a dumpster he found that Jack Warden had stolen the money out of his wallet and Artie Lange had taken a shit in it. Some say that Oliver reminisces about this quite often and calls it "the best day of his life".

Mike Oliver's role in Bad Lieutenant

Mike, I just wanted to say that I thought you were amazing in your uncredited role as Harvey Keitel's penis in Bad Lieutenant. You deserved an Oscar for that shit! You must've nearly suffocated! Good job buddy!

Michal Oliver's Early Role in Gremlins

I have uncovered what may have been Michael Oliver's earliest known role. It seems that as a very small child Michael was tapped to play the character "Stripe" in the movie Gremlins. I've been told that Michael needed no makeup for the role and saved the producers quite a bit of money! Way to go Mikey O! Unfortunately even at a young age his co-stars were disgusted by his foul smell and Phoebe Cates was rumored to have vomited upon meeting him.

Michael Oliver's Role In Nightmare on Elm Street!

Michael Oliver Ponce stole the show in the Nightmare on Elm Street movies. As you may recall, he played the evil child-killing monster, Freddy Kreuger. The Freddy Kreuger character was an evil man/entity who had severe burns over his entire body. Ponce was great and didn't even need to wear any makeup whatsoever - he had the perfect complexion for the role!

I heard that Ponce may have won an Oscar for his role. Does anyone know whether that is true?

Is There a Rubik's Cube Stuck in Michael Oliver's Colon?

I heard a rumor that Michael Oliver Ponce brought a Rubik's Cube with him to the set of Problem Child 2 and had a tantrum because he couldn't solve the famous 3-dimensional puzzle. Apparently Big Ben Healy became irate at Ponce's whining and violently shoved the Rubik's Cube up Ponce's ass. Supposedly the Rubik's Cube still resides in Ponce's colon and can be felt by anyone having anal sex with Ponce.

Has anyone else heard this rumor or know whether there is any thruth to this rumor?

Did Michael Oliver Molest a Bear?

I've heard from good sources that park rangers in California are currently investigating the possibility the Michael "Ponce" Oliver recently molested a gay black bear. It seems that Michael and the bear had hit it off during one of Michaels forays into the California woods when Michael got a bit inappropriate. It seems that after spending most of the day with Oliver the bear grew to hate him and his rank ass and was actually planning on eating him. Oliver however had different plans and tried to put the moves on the bear. When he was rebuffed Michael got very mad and forced the bear to lick his stank ass taint! The bear reported this to park rangers and the description the bear gave led the investigation directly to Oliver. Stay tuned!!!

Does Michael Oliver Enjoy Being Tea-bagged?

I wonder whether Michael Oliver Ponce enjoys tea-bagging... I'll bet he loves it when sweaty homeless men dunk their nuts into his mouth! Ponce probably sucks all of the sweat, dirt, and lice off those dirty nuts within minutes. Ponce probably also likes it when a homeless man farts right in his face while also tea-bagging Ponce! Man, Ponce must be extremely horny and demented!

Michael Oliver's New Lover?

I have on good authority that this fine strapping man is Michael Olivers new lover! (Sorry guys he's off the market again!) It seems that this is Cledus, Michael's 3rd cousin and the two of them are going at it hot and heavy!!! Michael treated Cledus to a fine meal of Old Country Buffet farts. Then the lovers went back to Michael's sewer home for some HOT lovemaking!! I hear that they are trying to create a buttbaby!!!! I'm sure that it would be demented and would have the best mullet ever. So far the relationship is just about massive amounts of butt loving and Old Country Buffet but some insiders think that a gay marriage may occur down the road!!! Stay Tuned!!!


UPDATE: Michael and Cledus have broken up! It seems that after the recent allegations of Michael molesting a bear Cledus kicked him to the curb. Hot studs be on the lookout as Ponce is back on the market!

Michael Oliver in the Gayest Video Ever!

HEY MIKEY O! Big Ben Healey found the skeletons in your fucking closet! Yeah, I remember when you had a stint as the singer from Rammstein, and you made what has to be the Mount Vernon of queerness! This is what happens when you welsh on Big Ben Healey debts! Hope Ninja Gaiden was worth it, fuckface!

Line of Gay Men Waiting for Blowjobs from Michael Oliver?

Here's a nice picture of gay homeless men lined up. I heard that these men are waiting in line for blowjobs from Michael Oliver Ponce and to also have anal sex with Ponce. Does anyone know if there is any truth to this rumor?

Be sure to check out the crazy-looking mongoloid in the upper right-hand corner of the photo. He's wearing a red shirt that appears to have the number 18 written on it. I'll bet that dude really gave it to Ponce!

Was Michael Recently Fired by Chris Burke?

I have on good authority that Michael Oliver was recently fired from his roadie duties for Chris Burke's hardcore queercore band! I'm sure that everyone remembers Chris Burke from his role as "Corky" on the show Life Goes On. It seems that somehow Michael sought out Chris and they began a heavy love affair. Chris invited Michael to be the groups roadie and off Michael went on the road with Chris and his band. However, things turned sour when Michael placed an enormous poster of his head on the stage along with the band's equipment. Michael tried to explain to Chris that he was trying to generate a buzz at St. Pauls Elderly Home so that the people would know that he "Michael Oliver" was the roadie for the show. To make matters worse later that night while on the tour bus Chris walked in on his bandmates, the Demasi twins, spitroasting Oliver!!! Well that was enough for Corky and he fired Michael on the spot! I'm bummed as I was hoping to catch Michael when Corky and his band played at a local Jr. High School!

Does Michael Oliver Beg for "Fart" Meals Outside Old Country Buffet?

I have heard from many good sources that Michael Oliver has hit what I consider to be rock bottom! I have heard that in recent weeks he has been spotted outside an Old Country Buffet near his sewer home. He lays by the front doors and pretends to be in pain by moaning. He only does this to people who have already eaten and are on their way out of the restaurant. When some nice soul stops to ask what's wrong Oliver says he is hungry and begs them to fart some of the Old Country Buffet goodness into his mouth! Most people walk away after hearing this request, but enough comply to keep Oliver returning! No one knows if Oliver actually considers a fart to the face "eating" or if it's to fulfill a sick sexual fantasy of Olivers!

UPDATE: Michael Oliver has been banned from the above mentioned Old Country Buffet for harassing their patrons. He has gone back to his sewer home.

Is Michael Oliver a Bug Chaser?

The Rolling Stone magazine published an article about gay men who have unprotected gay sex in the hope of contracting the deadly HIV virus. Such behavior is somewhat common in the gay community and gay men who engage in such risky practices desiring to contract HIV are called "bug chasers." Does anyone know whether Michael Oliver Ponce is a bug chaser? He's probably ingested thousands of gallons of HIV juice at rest stops and gas station bathrooms over the years!

Michael Oliver's Role in "Alien Autopsy"

One of Michael Oliver Ponce's most unusal roles was in the 1995 TV special, Alien Autopsy - Fact or Fiction. It aired on the FOX network during the summer in 1995. Michael acted in the original footage without using any make up at all! Ray Santilli, a London-based video entrepreneur, claimed to have original black-and-white video footage on an autopsy being performed on one of the aliens allegedly captured in Roswell, New Mexico in 1947. He peddled his footage of what was supposedly the autopsy to various networks and FOX produced a special show about the footage.

The alien autopsy footage was later proved to be a fake when John Ritter recognized Michael Oliver Ponce as the alleged alien carcass. Here are some images of Ponce from that TV special:

Is Michael Oliver Hung Like a Tic-Tac?

I heard a rumor the other day that Michael Oliver Ponce has an extremely tiny penis. Does anyone know if there is any truth to this rumor?

Supposedly it is the size of a Tic-Tac breath mint. Of course, popping a Tic-Tac breath mint into one's mouth would freshen one's breath, whereas popping Ponce's tiny Tic-Tac sized cock into one's mouth would make one's breath smell like Ponce's stank balls and ass. Ponce, maybe you should approach Ferraro, the company that manufactures Tic-Tacs, and try to convince them to create a new flavor that tastes like your smelly balls and ass - I'm sure it would be a top seller in the deviant homosexual community!

Michael Oliver Loves Having Random Dudes Fart in His Face?

I have heard from terrific sources that Michael Oliver's favorite hobby is to have random dudes sit on his face and blow ass! He also very much enjoys farting on his hand and smelling it! I'm told that he loves to eat garbage and excrement then he waits for his digestive system to produce some rank farts. He cups his hand beneath his ass and farts into it. He then immediately takes his still cupped hand up to his face and deeply breathes in his own flatulence. I've been told that when doing this he moans in ecstasy as this is the most pleasurable thing for him other then young Mexican boys farting directly into his face! Rumor has it that Michael tried storing his farts in a Mason jar but he found the farts deteriorated and didn't provide the same level of pleasure he receives from a "fresh" fart. Way to go Mikey that sounds uber disgusting! The picture is of one of Michaels lovers farting in his face during a "fart frenzy".

Michael Oliver's Role In "Star Wars: Return of the Jedi"

The most successful movie in which Michael Oliver Ponce has ever acted was 1983's hit, Star Wars: Return of the Jedi. In it, Ponce played Admiral Akbar, the Supreme Commander of the Rebel Alliance Fleet fighting against the forces of evil! A picture of Ponce dressed up as Admiral Akbar is shown below. As one can clearly see, Ponce wore minimal makeup for this role and, in fact, the only way to tell that he's an admiral is by looking at the shirt he's wearing! Ponce really fit the look for this role, although I think he should have shaved his whiskers before appearing in the movie.

Speaking of admirals, I wonder if Darth Vader gave Ponce a "rear admiral" on the rowdy Return of the Jedi set...

Michael Oliver's Role in "Annie"

In 1982, Michael Oliver Ponce starred as a little orphan in the box office hit, Annie. Ponce played a homeless little girl who is orphaned during the Great Depression and lives in an orphanage with a runaway dog until she is adopted by a rich man. I personally thought that Annie totally sucked when I saw it as a child, although it was fairly popular. Ponce did, however, impress me with his immense talents as a character actor, wearing a dress throughout the movie and getting a firecrotch perm!

Michael Oliver's Role in "Creature From The Black Lagoon"

One of Michael Oliver Ponce's first movie roles was as Gill-man, an amphibious monster living in an Amazonian rain forest, in Creature From the Black Lagoon. Ponce played the title character in this horror flick and he did so without wearing any makeup, resulting in a fast shoot for the movie! Here's a picture of Ponce from the movie:

Hot Picture of Michael Oliver Out Shopping!

Here's a nice picture I found. This appears to be a picture of Michael Oliver Ponce out shopping. He sure is the fashion icon! He obviously enjoys wearing skin-tight leotards, especially without underwear. Ponce must be an exhibitionist who wants the whole world to see his junk. I wonder if the back of his leotard has skidmarks... I'll bet his stank balls and ass can be smelled from 100 feet away!

Michael Oliver Recently Spotted at Gay Bathouse?

I have heard from good sources that after reading many of the blogs on this site Michael Oliver is in a rush to wash his sweaty, stinky balls and asshole! Over the weekend he was spotted heading into this gay bathhouse where he received many golden showers and a few hot carls! I'm told that although he wound up smelling worse then ever (his mullet now reeks of piss) he found the bathhouse experience to be a good one and will return! So all you hot queers keep an eye out for Oliver at your favorite bathhouse!!!

Michael Oliver's Role in Wrong Turn

Michael Oliver had a starring role in the 2003 horror flick, Wrong Turn. In the movie, Michael Oliver Ponce played a canniballistic inbred mountain person who went on a killing rampage. Ponce was very believable in this role. He also managed to perform this role with no makeup whatsoever! Here is a picture of Ponce from the movie:

Michael Oliver's Role In Deliverance!

One of Michael Oliver's first movie roles was as an ugly inbred kid in the movie Deliverance. Michael played the banjo in a famous scene with Ronnie Cox. Here is a screen cap of Michael Oliver Ponce from that movie:


Here's a clip of his scene. Michael sure could strum the banjo! Maybe that's why he decided to be a roadie - he must love being around music.

Michael Oliver's Acting Career Is In The Toilet!

Michael Oliver was one of the most versatile and sought-after child actors of the 1980s and early 1990s. He starred in many movies and TV shows. For all intents and purposes he was the "go to" child star to cast in any role requiring an ugly kid with red hair. As has been discussed below, he starred in numerous roles on Diff'rent Strokes, played a little girl on Small Wonder, was the title character completely sans-makeup in Mask, etc.

However, Michael Oliver Ponce's career has stalled over the past 10+ years, forcing him into his dead-end roadie job where he is apparently unable to shower or bathe for days on end, resulting in everyone at his concerts being able to smell his stank balls and ass from a distance of several yards. Ponce, you need to follow the lead of Ron Howard. He was the ugly red-headed kid on Happy Days and although he's even uglier now as a middle-aged adult, he is one of the most successful directors in Hollywood. Ponce, I hope you get it together soon!

Michael Oliver's Role on Small Wonder

One of Michael Oliver Ponce's first roles was as Harriet Brindle on the mid-1980s syndicated hit show, Small Wonder. Ponce dressed as a little girl for this role and became universally known as one of the most annoying characters in TV history. Ponce's Harriet was kind of like the female version of Screech from Saved By The Bell. Here is a picture of Ponce from his days on Small Wonder:

I heard a rumor that several years ago Ponce drove to Vermont to exchange gay nuptials with some other dude. Here is a picture from his gay wedding (Ponce is the one on the left - he must have been so happy to find manly love with another fire crotch!):

The Diff'rent Strokes Episode Where Michael Oliver Was a Junkie!

One of the most famous episodes of Diff'rent Strokes was the one where first lady Nancy Reagan stopped by Arnold Drummond's grade school to give an anti-drug talk. Michael Oliver was a drug dealer in that episode! Here are some screen caps from the episode where Oliver was trying to sell uppers to Arnold and Dudley. I heard that Oliver was arrested for drug dealing after this episode was filmed and sent to a juvenile detention facility for several years where sadistic homosexual prison guards passed him around as candy. Does anyone know if that's true?

Michael Oliver Ruined Diff'rent Strokes!

Michael Oliver played "Sam McKinney" for the final two seasons (from 1984-1986) of the hit TV sitcom, Diff'rent Strokes. Sam was the son of Maggie McKinney, played by Dixie Carter, a southern belle who married Mr. Drummond (played by Conrad Bain). I thought that the addition of Michael Oliver to the Diff'rent Strokes cast ruined that show. His character was universally hated.

In one classic episode, Oliver's character, Sam, was kidnapped by a deranged man. Fans of Diff'rent Strokes hoped that Sam would be written off the show in this episode; unfortunately it didn't happen, and Sam returned in the next episode. This is a clip of the young Michael Oliver from that episode:

Did Big Ben Healy Make Michael Oliver Dress Up as Wonder Woman?

I heard a rumor that Big Ben Healy was a huge fan of the late 1970s TV show, Wonder Woman. I also heard that Big Ben used to make Michael Oliver Ponce dress up as Wonder Woman for their late night gay sex romps. I'll bet that Big Ben bought the outfit below for Ponce on his 18th birthday and coated it with cum stains over the next week as they made passionate homosexual love over and over again. Does anyone know it these rumors are true?

Gay Relationship With Dustin Diamond?

Does anyone know whether Michael Oliver and Dustin Diamond ever hooked up for some hot and sweaty unprotected buttsex? I'll bet that Oliver had a field day with Diamond, teabagging him for hours, Big Ben Healy style! They would probably make out for hours and roll aroound in each other's feces in Oliver's basement!

Did Michael Oliver Abort His Butt-Baby With A Coat Hanger?

I heard a rumor that Michael Oliver Ponce was anally impregnanted by Big Ben Healy on his 19th birthday. Apparently Big Ben Healy fired his seed up Oliver's shit pipe over and over again over a two week period. Two weeks later, Oliver discovered that Big Ben's potent seed had created a butt baby that was growing in Oliver's anal orifice. Oliver was so scared that he quickly ran to Big Ben Healy for some advice.

Big Ben didn't want to have to financially support his butt baby, so he decided to abort his gay love child. Instead of going to an abortion clinic, Big Ben decided to abort Oliver's butt baby the old fashioned way - i.e., with a rusty coat hanger. Big Ben used a coat hanger that he received from the Chinese dry cleaner over on 50th street and untwisted the metal and jammed it up Oliver's rectum for several minutes until Oliver passed out from blood loss. Big Ben was so happy at that time that he jerked off onto the unconscious Oliver's firecrotch.

Does anyone know if there is any truth to this rumor?

Garbage Truck Sex?

I have on good authority that this is a picture of Michael Oliver following a tryst he had with two garbage men in the back of their truck! Uber Hot!!! Mike is really sexing things up in a big way taking on two well hung garbage men in the back of their truck! From what I hear they gave him a good spitroasting then tried to crush him in the compactor because he annoyed the hell out of them. Way to go Mikey!!!

Hot Picture of Mike Driving His Yugo!

I found this sweet picture of Michael driving his 1985 Yugo! I didn't even know any still existed but I have to say it looks like Mike takes pretty good care of it! I wonder how much man-ass Mike has gotten with that fine vehicle? I love the P.C. he had professionally painted on the side!

Michael's Rap Album!

I remember when my grandson got pissed at Hulk Hogan when he lost to the Ultimate Warrior at Wrestlemania VI. Michael made a rap album, titled "Be a Man"! It was great!



Unfortunately, Junior picked up his business sense from his old man and was swindled out of the album rights by "Macho Man" Randy Savage. The lyrics were all rewritten by Macho's brother, "The Genius", and Oliver was thrown into a sewer!
Rolling with the Samples sounds like a pretty sweet deal by comparison!

Was Michael Oliver Married to a German Shepard?

I have recently heard that Michael Oliver was married for a short time to a German Shepard named Max. I'm not sure exactly when this happened but I do have on good authority that the two lived in the LA Sewers until ultimately Max decided to divorce Michael! The picture on the left is of Max and was taken on Michael and Max's honeymoon! Michael is one strange character! WOOF!!!

Does Michael Oliver Ponce Fantasize About Hulk Hogan While Jerking Off?

I heard a rumor that Michael Oliver Ponce is a huge wrestling fan and that his favorite wrestler is Hulk Hogan. I also heard that he would masturbate vigorously while watching the Hulkster wrestle and his favorite matches were those between Hulk Hogan and Randy "Macho Man" Savage. Last December I was at a rest stop on Reno, Nevada and I read some graffiti that alleges that Ponce used to rent Hogan's "No Holds Barred" movie almost every week so that he could watch it while cracking one off. Does anyone know if there is any truth to any of these rumors?

Was Michael Oliver a Gay Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle?

It has come to light in the last 24 hours that Michael Oliver was at one time a member of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! After the last report of Michael living in the sewer it was reported that Michael was actually the 5th member of the legendary ninja turtles. Unfortunately for Michael his character "Liberace" was caught in some unseemly positions with the Turtles male adversaries! Thus Michael was thrown out of the Turtles, thrusting him into the sewer to live a dark and smelly life. I was only able to find one picture of Michael as "Liberace". I was surprised to see that Michael wore his trademark bow tie even when in full turtle attire! The sword is unmistakably Michaels! He looks adorable!!! His being thrown out of the Turtles must have been a heartbreaking blow!

Does Michael Oliver Live in the Sewer?

I've recently heard from good sources that Michael is currently living in the LA sewer. This would make sense as he already is known to smell like a sewer and his lack of any actually job must have him financially strapped. Can anyone confirm that beneath this manhole is Michael Olivers current home? Also, I have heard that Michael holds queer orgies in his sewer paradise on a regular basis. Can anyone confirm this, and if so how do I get an invite?

Michael Oliver's Halloween Costume!

I found this great picture of Michael Oliver Ponce. This was supposedly taken last Halloween at a party. Ponce went dressed as Superman! He looks so cute. He probably got lots of candy from the pockets of strange men that night.

Michael Oliver's Role In Beetlejuice

Once of Michael Oliver Ponce's breakthrough roles was as the title character in the hit 1988 movie, Beetlejuice. Ponce played "Beetlejuice," an ugly monster who was also a bio-exorcist. Ponce is a great character actor and was superb in his role. Astonishingly, the producers raved about Ponce's performance in large part because he required no makeup whatsoever for his role! His skin is naturally extremely pale and with a little bit of haircoloring, he was good to go!