Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Why Doesn't Michael Oliver Ponce Play an Instrument While on Tour With The Samples?

I have always wondered why Michael Oliver Ponce, the studliest man in the history of the universe, doesn't play an instrument while he's touring with The Samples. Are his roadie duties that time-intensive? I heard a rumor that while on the rowdy Problem Child set Ponce used to tune Big Ben Healy's meat whistle. The word on the street is also that he is an expert at playing the skin flute. Since he undoubteldly has substantial experience in manipulating these instruments, I question why he's not up on the stage jamming away during the many standing-room-only concerts for The Samples. Can someone please enlighten me?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'll bet he plays a sweet RUSTY TROMBONE!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I heard that Yo-Yo Ma once played his ass hair like a cello, and Luciano Pavarotti (bless his sweet soul) sang an amazing rendition of "Ave Maria" over it. The crowd erupted in a fury of joy; it's regarded as among the best work of either man.
When Oliver demanded a cut of the profits, Ma laughed and told him that he wasn't in the practice of paying his musical instruments. Just then, Pete Townsend showed up and smashed Oliver on the ground. Then all three turned him into a Mushy Cookie! It was a night to remember!

Anonymous said...

perhaps he should try opera

blah said...

michal oliver, the problem child, is the man!