Is Michael Oliver the Illegitimate Son of Carrot Top?

Michael Oliver Ponce, I heard a rumor that Jack Warden impregnanted Carrot Top with his potent seed back in early 1981, and Carrot Top gave birth to you on October 10, 1981. Supposedly, you were Carrot Top's "butt baby" and were born directly out of his ass - Carrot Top is your mother and Jack Warden is your father. Is there any truth to this rumor? I also heard that Carrot Top was upset that his anal pregnancy ruined his figure, causing him to turn to steroids to lose the pregnancy fat. Did Carrot Top disown you for this? Is this why you were supposedly caught living in a dumpster in New York City a few years ago? Please get back to me soon!