Road Ass for Michael Oliver?

Michael, you must get hit on by tons of women and men due to your esteemed position as roadie for The Samples. I know that your smelly groiny and b.o. turn on many homosexual men. Does it also turn on the women? Do attractive women like those odors, or do the obese hogs prefer it? Have you contracted any STDs from the road ass you have met during your tours? Have you ever engaged in any orgies while Problem Child plays in the background? Do you ever make any of the gay men you meet dress up as John Ritter or Big Ben Healy and make them called you "Junior" while they make love to you? I expect an answer to this important questions soon!